Friday, September 24, 2010

Wishes and Photographs

So wishes are a strange thing.  I mean, do they really not come true if you tell someone?  Or is there even a point in wishing for anything?  My birthday is coming up in a few days, and of course I know what I want.  But, should I really wish for it?  I mean is it useless?  I just don't know.  I do know that I love him a lot, and that I think he loves me too.  That I know for sure.  But in the end, what if it doesn't even matter?  I want him to fight for me.  I want him to come to my house and sweep me off my feet.  I want him to show me he loves me.  But what if I'm holding out for something that will never happen?  I know that good things come to those that wait, but I've been waiting, and I don't even think he cares about me at all. 
I pretend that I'm so happy, but really I'm falling apart.  I know that he would be able to see the look in my eyes and know that everything isn't really ok.  I look at my senior pictures and wonder where the happy girl went.  I wonder why she now has sad eyes and struggles to put a smile on her face every morning.  Sometimes I wonder if other people notice.  But I think they don't.  I think I'm pretty alone when it comes down to it.  He knew me so well, no one will ever know me the way he does.

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